Aboriginal Suicide

Difficult times
Some things in people's lives may put them at risk of suicide. We need to support people when these things happen. Difficult times can include:

• Sadness and depression in the family
• Harmful use of alcohol or other drugs
• Trouble with family and relationships
• Sexual, emotional or physical abuse
• Family and community members being suicidal or hurting themselves
• Loss of a loved one
• Problems with the law
• No money.

What to look for
When people are thinking about suicide they can show warning signs. Family and friends are in the best position to first notice worrying changes in people or signs that people aren't coping. Some of the things that tell you that someone isn't coping may include:

• They might start wanting to be alone more and feel like no-one understands them. This may also mean they stop talking to you and other family, friends or community.
• Some people start picking arguments with their friends and relations for no reasons. They might get moody and snap at people for no reason.
• When people have a negative sense of themselves and life they often act out negative feelings by taking risks, such as reckless, criminal or life-threatening behaviours such as dangerous driving
• Drinking more alcohol or using more drugs. Some people drink more than usual or use other drugs, thinking it might help them cope with the pain they are feeling.
• A person may find it hard to maintain a routine. They may find it difficult to concentrate, and often want to be left one. You may also notice that they stop doing things that they previously enjoyed. When a person is depressed, their performance at school or work is often affected as is their sleeping and eating patterns.
• Saying things like "You won't have to bother with me any more", or, "I'd like to go to sleep and never wake up". They may also express thoughts about death or dying through drawings, stories or songs.
• Giving away possessions, saying goodbye to people, settling any old or ongoing issues or deciding on a plan to suicide
• Suddenly being happy or calm after being sad for a while. Sometimes they seem better or at peace after being sad for a while but this may mean that they have decided to complete suicide.
• Not taking care of themselves and their appearance.
• Seeing or hearing things that aren't there
• Hurting themselves or trying to kill themselves. This is an important warning sign.

If you notice these signs, talk to other family or community as they might also be concerned about the person. If someone tells you that their thinking about harming themselves you must pass this information onto a doctor, community health worker as soon as possible. You can't keep it a secret.

Thoughts and Feelings
Sadly for some people, they feel like they don't want to go on living. This is suicidal ideation. When someone is experiencing suicidal ideation, some of the thoughts and feelings they may have are:

• Thinking that things will never get better and that no one can help
• Feeling like they have no control over their lives
• Feeling like they don't do enough for people
• Feeling lonely, frightened and not wanted
• Having trouble expressing feelings e.g. having outbursts of uncontrolled anger
• Thinking of death and dying
• Feeling worthless, guilty and no good.

People who are thinking about suicide often feel very alone. They may feel that nobody can help them, or that they are beyond help. They may see suicide as an answer to their problems, and may not be able to see any other way of dealing with their situation. They may believe it is their only way out. Most people who are suicidal can get through difficult times with the help and support of family, friends, community and health professionals.

Supporting people
People who are going through difficult times need someone to talk to. Don't dismiss or rubbish what the person is saying. All suicide talk should be taken seriously. If you are worried about someone, ask them how they are feeling. People often start to open up and talk about things. People often feel better after talking about their feelings, but those bad feelings may return. This is why it is important to keep contact with this person and be there for them. If you are concerned about someone, don't leave the person alone. If you think the person might hurt themselves stay with them, or get other relatives or community involved to help you look after them. It is important that you involve other people.

• Show good ways to sort out conflicts and problems
• Be there during sad times
• Help them to make decisions about their life
• Get other family or community to help look after them

How can I help?
If someone comes to you with problems try to avoid judging them. You can suggest ideas of things they can do, but don't force them. Try also to get them to come up with ideas to help fix the problem. This will mean that they will be better able to deal with problems next time they are fac ed with them.

Truly listening to what they are saying, or not saying, is the starting point. Listening also involves setting the scene for this to happen. A caring, non-judgemental attitude will open the doors to communication. Good listening can help you to understand the person situation and what is worrying them more clearly.

• Be alert to the risk factors and warning signs
• Take their concerns and the situation seriously
• Listen and hear what they are saying. Don't judge, or criticise. Spend time with the person, let them know you care about them and that they are not alone. Ask them how they are feeling and listen to their answer. Let them do most of the talking. Things can seem a lot better after they have spoken about their problems.
• Ask if they are thinking about harming or killing themselves. You need to know. This can be very hard, but it shows that you care. Talking about suicide will not put the idea into their head. In fact, it might make them feel that they can have a yarn about how they are feeling.
• Offer to support them in finding other ways
• If there is immediate danger, either stay with them yourself or have someone else stay with them to keep them safe. If possible, remove any means of suicide available to the person. This includes weapons, mediations, alcohol and other drugs and potentially access to their care.
• Don't agree to keep it a secret. Talk about the other people who can help. The best way to help the person is to get other people involved who can provide the help and support they need. Get professional help for them as well as support for yourself. Families may be shame about seeking help or they may decide to wait, hoping that problems will sort themselves out. If you think that someone is thinking about suicide or hurting themselves you must talk to someone straight away. You shouldn't feel shame about talking with someone - they have spoken to lots of people about these sorts of things before, so they won't judge your family.

What not to do

• Don't ignore the situation and hope it will go away - if you don't think you can cope with helping the person, find someone else who can
• Don't think you can fix things on your own
• Don't make promises you can't keep
• Don't make the person feel shame.

After the crisis
Thoughts about suicide often don't go away unless the person experiences some sort of change in their situation. The ongoing involvement of family, friends and professionals is very important as it takes time for these changes to take effect.

Once the difficult time has passed, there are things we can do to help support the person. You can show that you understand someone by listening and paying attention to them. Be interested about how they are going or things that they like to do. People will share their feelings with you when they are sad if you share your feelings with them. Making time for a yarn makes these opportunities to share feelings more likely.

• Talking about problems and happy times
• Having a yarn and listening to one another around camp fires
• Having more family gatherings
• Caring for one another
• Doing things together - take a walk or go to relations place
• Respecting each other and their beliefs

Aboriginal culture can protect people against suicide. It is important that we recognise our culture by:

• Talking to your people about how you identify yourself and your culture
• Talking to your people about the good job they do
• Teaching families about respect by being a good leader
• Walking tall and keeping your head up
• Being proud of yourself, your culture, your language and your country

Looking after yourself
It is common for people caring or supporting someone who is suicidal to feel responsible for his or her life. If you're helping someone who is feeling suicidal, make sure you take care of yourself as well. Remember that it is really stressful supporting someone who is suicidal, especially over a long period of time.

Strategies for supporting yourself:

• Don't do it on your own. Find someone who you can share the load with and talk to - maybe friends, family or a professional
• Get other people involved who can help you support the person
• Take time out for yourself
• Continue doing the things you enjoy

Places that can help
If you are worried about someone hurting themselves talk to these services for help.

IN AN EMERGENCY

IN YOUR COMMUNITY
Aboriginal Health Services

You can also contact your local doctor, health worker, psychologist or counsellor.

Written by Spencer Riley.