Common Questions

People who feel suicidal are often feeling so much pain that they can see no other option. They feel that they are a burden to others, and in desperation see suicide as a way to escape their overwhelming pain and anguish. The suicidal state of mind has been described as constricted, filled with a sense worthlessness, uselessness and hopelessness. (SIEC)

Some of the thought and feelings they may have include:

• Thinking that life will never get better and that no one can help them.
• Feeling pressured by expectation put on them by themselves or others.
• Thinking about death and dying
• Feeling worthless, guilty or of being a failure
• Feeling lonely or deserted
• Having trouble expressing feelings e.g. being angry all the time.

A number of experiences and circumstances can increase a person's risk of suicide. The situations and events listed do not cause suicide, but they are important in understanding the relationship between stresses and the person's underlying vulnerabilities and resources. Risk factors include:

• A history of mental illness (particularly depression) in self, parents or carers;
• Harmful use of alcohol or other drugs;
• Severe difficulties in the family, eg. relationship breakdown, divorce, reduced access to children and domestic violence;
• History of child abuse - sexual, physical and emotional;
• A family history of suicide or suicidal behaviour;
• The availability of lethal methods of suicide, particularly easy access to guns;
• Losses, including death and loss of physical health;
• Socio-economic disadvantage, including low educational achievement and unemployment, economic depression and sudden economic change;
• Legal problems, imprisonment or behaviour that brings the person into conflict with the law or society;
• Conflict over sexual identity or other sexual issues;
• Patterns of poor communication with others, especially family or friends;
• Financial problems;
• Work-related stresses.

No, in fact the opposite is true. Talking about suicide can be a plea for help and it can be a late sign that the person is moving towards a suicide attempt. Those who are most at risk will often show other signs apart from talking about suicide. If you have concerns about a person who talks about suicide it is useful to:

• Encourage the person to talk further and help him/her to find support;
• Ask if they are thinking about making a suicide attempt;
• Ask them if they have a plan;
• Think about the completeness of the plan and how dangerous it is;
• Not trivialise plans that seem less complete or less dangerous - all suicidal intentions are serious and must be acknowledged as such;
• Encourage the person to develop a personal safety plan - this can include time spent with others, check-in points with significant others and plans for the future.

A promise to keep suicide intention should never be kept. It is common for people to be concerned that the person will be angry if this secret is shared.

Where there is potential for harm, or actual harm, then do not keep secrets. A sealed note with the request for the note not to be opened is a very strong indicator that something is seriously wrong. A sealed note is a late sign in the progression towards suicide.

While it is common for people to be defensive and resist help at first, for most people considering suicide, it is a relief to have someone genuinely care about them and actively seek help with them. When questioned some time later, most people express gratitude for the intervention.

Many people who are suicidal, communicate this intent to those around them. However, these indicators are often subtle and can be very difficult to notice. Understanding some of the warning signs can help us to understand someones risk. Warning signs may include:

• The recent suicide, or death by other means, of a friend or relative;
• Previous suicide attempts;
• Preoccupation with themes of death or expressing suicidal thoughts;
• Depression, conduct disorder and problems with adjustment such as substance abuse, particularly when two or more of these are present;
• Giving away valued possessions, making a will or other final arrangements;
• Major changes in sleep patterns, including too much or too little;
• Sudden and extreme changes in eating habits, losing or gaining weight;
• Withdrawal from friends, family or other major behavioural changes;
• Dropping out of group and social activities;
• Personality changes such as nervousness, outbursts of anger, impulsive or reckless behaviour, or apathy about appearance or health;
• Frequent irritability or unexplained crying;
• Lingering expressions of unworthiness or failure;
• Lack of interest in the future;
• When there have been other indicators of a potential suicide attempt, a sudden lifting of spirits may point to a decision to end the pain of life through suicide.

One suicide attempt is regarded as an indicator of further attempts. Their behaviour is telling us that they are not able to cope and that they need help and support. Be aware that the level of danger may increase with each further suicide attempt.

Suicides can be prevented. People can be helped. Most people who feel suicidal do not necessarily want to die, but rather want to escape a situation or unbearable pain. Suicidal crises can be relatively short-term. Suicide is a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem. Immediate practical help, such as staying with the person and encouraging them to talk can avert the intention to attempt suicide. Such immediate help is important at the time of crisis, and further counselling will then be required.

However, no matter how well intentioned, alert and diligent people's efforts may be, there is no way of preventing all suicides from occurring.

All suicide attempts must be treated as though the person has the intent to die. Do not dismiss a suicide threat or attempt as simply being attention seeking. It is likely that the person has tried to seek attention and, therefore, this attention is needed. The attention that they get may well save their lives.

Research has found that asking someone if they are suicidal does not put the person at further risk or put the idea in their head, but rather opens lines of communication. It gives the person permission to talk about the extent of their distress. This may seem really difficult but it shows that you care.

Fears that are shared are more likely to diminish. The first step in encouraging a suicidal person to live comes from talking about feelings and reducing their isolation. That first step can be a simple inquiry about whether or not the person is intending to end their life. However, talking about suicide should be carefully managed. If the person answers yes, it is important that you seek professional help immediately.

While depression is often a contributing factor in suicidal behaviour, it does not have to be present for suicide to be attempted or completed. It is important to note that not all depressed people are suicidal.

The opposite may be true. In the three months following an attempt, a person is most at risk of completing suicide. Improvement in mood may indicate a decision to commit suicide. This does not mean that this decision and these thoughts cannot be changed with appropriate intervention.

All people who interact with suicidal people can help them by way of emotional support and encouragement. Psychotherapeutic interventions also rely heavily on family and friends providing a network of support.

Evidence shows that suicidal people often tell others of their thoughts and plans. Most suicidal adults visit a medical doctor during the three months prior to killing themselves. Adolescents are more likely to 'ask' for help through their behaviour than to express their situation verbally to others.

A break up of a relationship can be a significant stressor, however, it is unlikely to be the sole cause of suicide. Suicide is often a result of a number of different risk factors rather than one single cause. Also, what may be a risk factor for one person, may not be a risk factor for another. The way people respond to stressful situations is dependent on their ability to cope and solve problems and what else is currently going on in their life.

Nobody is suicidal at all times. The risk of suicide for any individual varies across time, as circumstances change. This is why it is important for regular assessments of the level of risk. Most people will get through these times with assistance and support.

In Australia, the criminal law concerning suicide varies according to the jurisdiction in question. In all jurisdictions, suicide is no longer a crime and, except in the Northern Territory, the crime of attempted suicide has also been abolished. It is, however, still an offence for a person to assist another person to commit suicide or to attempt to commit suicide (the precise wording differs according to the jurisdiction) (Australian Institute of Criminology).

No, in fact a surprising number of people who complete suicide do not leave suicide notes. Studies have given inconsistent results as to the proportion of people who leave suicide notes. Findings have varied between 10 and 43 percent (Studies completed in Hungary, New Zealand and Sweden).